LIFE, MARRIAGE & FAMILY: ‘Do I? or ‘I Do!’

By Mark Griffin, Director of Life, Marriage & Family

Marriage is hard work! Just like any challenge in life, it is best faced when properly prepared. When a couple get to the big day, standing in front of the altar, in the presence of God and witnesses, there is no possible way of knowing how the marriage will ‘go’.

However, it is required by the Church that they know—objectively, at least—what marriage is all about, and are equipped with the correct tools to face the ups and downs of the life that lies ahead of them.

Before they exchange vows, the Church asks them some serious questions:

• Have you come to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly? 
• Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?
• Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

These are massive commitments, bound to the vows that are about to be professed, and should not be entered into lightly. If either the bride or the groom is hesitating on any of these points (other than from the natural nerves of the day), there may be trouble on the horizon.

It is the duty of the priest (or deacon) tasked with the marriage formation of the couple, to ensure that they are well-prepared to stand up and confidently respond to these questions, while understanding the gravity of the commitment into which they will be entering.

People are placed on this earth to serve God and their fellow man. Their vocation is God’s call on how they are to offer their lives in service. This is emphasized by these questions asked by the Church.

In addition to completing formal marriage preparation offered by the Church, the time of engagement presents an opportunity for couples to practice offering a life in service, firstly as individuals, but also together.

As they walk towards marriage, looking for opportunities to serve their family, friends and the wider community, they each get to witness the heart of the other. By actively working together in this way, they will see, firsthand, if this truly is the person God is calling them to serve; by whom they will be served; and with whom they will serve others.

By making a concerted effort to properly prepare and equip themselves for marriage, the couple will arrive at the big day, not hesitant and unsure, but ready to respond with confidence to the big questions that the Church will ask of them. They will be ready and equipped to serve God—and each other—on their journey together, towards eternity.