Lessons from fatherhood
By Josh Low
As I held my feverish little girl in my arms on Father’s Day weekend this month as she sought comfort, sick with Respiratory Syncytial Virus, I began to reflect on fatherhood, and what I’ve learnt over the past 14 months.
Not only is fatherhood an incredible gift, but a tremendous responsibility.
How often do we hear about broken families where fathers are not present, whether physically, emotionally or even spiritually? Sadly, even among some Catholics, this is the case.
But just as Christ lay His life down for the Church, so is a father called to do so for his family.
As Pope St John Paul II writes in Familiaris Consortio, “In revealing and in reliving on earth the very fatherhood of God, a man is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the members of the family.”
From the very moment my daughter was born, I’ve come to understand more deeply what fatherhood involves – self-sacrifice, service and love – to will the good of the other – in this case, my child, and a reorientation of all my priorities to ensure that the needs of my family come before my own selfish whims and desires.
After all, my wife is the greatest gift I have received from God, and my daughter a priceless gem.
In an age which sees us so distracted by the noise that surrounds us in the world, we as fathers need to be steadfast in our duty to protect, serve and pray for our children, ensuring that we are also truly present.
As I comforted my daughter, it suddenly hit me that the way in which she experiences my response, especially in her time of need, will affect how she relates to God the Father in the future.
Every action I make now as a father in her early years and as she grows up will lay the foundation for her and all my future children (God willing) of her place in the world and ultimately, as a child of God.
I found a beautiful quote which really spoke to me – that parents are the ladders by which children can climb to heaven.
As scuffed, chipped, scratched or even broken I may be as a ladder, my hope is that all my children can experience the love of God the Father through me, and be empowered in their own spiritual life as adults, as I have through my own father.
Having a child of my own, I’ve come to appreciate all the sacrifices my dad made for our family growing up.
“You wait until you have your own children, then you’ll understand!” my mother would say as teenage me rolled my eyes at her.
I think I understand what she meant a little better now!
I know there is a long way to go on the journey of fatherhood, but by the grace of God and inspired by the “Little Way” of St Therese of Lisieux to do little things with great love, I look forward with hope to what the Lord has in store.
In the words of Pope St John Paul II, “The future of humanity passes by way of the family”.
Fathers, let us never tire of showing up for our children through prayer, sacrifice, presentness, teaching and tender loving care.
St Joseph, patron saint of fathers, pray for us!