YOUTH MATTERS: Always defend in their absence

By Sam Clear, Director of the Office of Youth Evangelisation

I once walked up to a road-side drinks bar in rural Costa Rica, serving soft drinks, juices and coconut water.

The owner was from the United States originally and we had a great chat while I re-hydrated.

Our conversation landed on faith pretty quickly and before asking any questions of me he launched into a long monologue about how ‘us Christians’ just have be on guard against ‘the Catholics’ – that they are the problem with the world and the church specifically.

I was amazed at how much he had to say about me, not realising he was, in fact, speaking about me.

It would be incredibly disheartening if we could indeed sit in on conversations about us where the other person doesn’t realise we’re there.

Sadly, we speak poorly of others all the time. It is somewhat ingrained in our culture, from basic gossip to genuinely dragging others down. Loving our enemies is very difficult.

While living in Adelaide many years ago I once off-loaded to a Catholic friend, Simon, about some work issues at the time.

I had a real dig at the behaviour of one of my work mates. For the first time in my life though, my off-loading wasn’t received with sympathy or shown any support.

Instead, Simon very patiently laid out that, “If they aren’t here to defend themselves, you should defend them. Always defend people behind their back. Air your grievance to them directly”.

Always defend people behind their backs.

That line has remained a thorn in my side for two decades now. In that moment Simon had made me conscious of at least one way I could love my enemies and to this day I’m still very aware when I’m falling short of it.

I’m also aware of how often I’m told things about other people that brought no good to that person, or it was said without any aim of loving them.

I wish I could remember which saint said this, but I once heard a priest speak of a saint who would say that, “If we truly saw Christ in one another we’d genuflect every time we passed another person.”

That seems like a great Eastertide ambition to take on.

Lord Jesus, forgive us our weaknesses and help us to love as you love.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34)